My First Enbrel Shot

So today was an important step forward for me, I had my first Enbrel shot. I had the Enbrel Sureclick auto-injectors delivered to my work today because I was there 8am-4:45pm today so i wouldn't be home to wait around for it to come to my house. This all went smoothly, as there is a pharmacy inside my work. I work at a Super Target. So my pharmacist is a sweetheart and told me there would be no problems having them deliver it there for me and i could pick it up after work! Fantastic he called me in my department to let me know it had arrived which was around 11am. So during my lunch i picked it up and took it home to put away in the fridge. I just couldn't wait to get off work so I could have my first shot!!! So i will be during this every Friday from now on. Which works well because my vacation out of state I leave on a Friday so i won't have to take my Enbrel with me on the plane :)

So finally I got off work, and yesterday I called my Uncle to ask if my Aunt would help me with my first shot because she is a RN. They said yes of course so after work I put my Enbrel in my travel cooler and headed over there. I was superrrr anxious but kinda nervous too. Well we read all the instructions together and then I let her give me the first shot because I wanted to know what kind of pain to expect. Well we let it sit out for a bit so it wouldn't be so cold because I had read that it stings if it's to cold. So after that followed all the steps and this is where I got really scared!! I hateeee needles (yet i have lots of tattoos-- how ironic) just something about drawing blood and putting medicine in me freaks me out. Anyways then we used an alcohol wipe on the area which was my left thigh & before I knew it, it was all over!! I got a cute hello kitty band-aid :) and it didn't even hurt like at all!!! I'm sure I can do this on my own next friday, the pain was almost non-existent.

Now I don't see my rheumy till the end of april BUT I really wanna cut back on the prednisone so i'm going to cut back to 1 pill a day at night starting tomorrow and see how this effects me. I'm totally getting the "moon face" my aunt noticed so i'm not CRAZY! finally someone else besides me can tell! That was a relief haha.

Overall today was a success, I can't wait till next friday!! and I can't wait to start feeling better! :) & my aunt even gave me a microwaveable comfort wrap thats cute w/ lavender & chamomile. :) it feels gooood on my sore joints!

I just need to cry sometimes

Last night I was hit pretty hard with some depression and frustration. The new health care bill for America was passed yesterday & while there are some pro's and con's about it, for me, I will benefit from it. I still need to find a good job with full medical benefits before December since my dad is retiring, so while it's changed to age 26 to be covered under your parents, this won't apply for me. The insurances won't be able to deny for pre-existing conditions either but this won't take effect till 2014. With that said I was on the phone late last night (around 12am) crying for like 30 minutes to my dad about all these feelings I'm going through. I haven't been looking for a better job and I know I need too and I finally figured out what is keeping me from doing so.. I feel like by me taking that step is me admitting that I have a real disease for the rest of my life. I'm just so afraid of the future, everything. I feel like nobody understands unless they have RA. && that some of the people I care about see me as "complaining" when in fact it's not, I'm just doing the best I can to deal and vent about what I'm going through. I have a selected few, very few, people who actually listen to me. I just wish more of them would be like that. The person that I thought would share more excitement with me today that Enbrel got approved finally didn't all they said was "good" and that was it, didn't even speak to this person after that today. Thankfully I had two other people that showed some excitement for me and my best friend said "does this mean I get to poke you?" lol she's been waiting because she offered to help me with my first shot. <3 I just don't know anymore, I try to be strong but sometimes I'm just so scared and wish that someone would help me. I feel like I can't do it on my own sometimes and the burden of dealing with doctors is so overwhelming. It's got to get easier then this... =[

On another note, I'm waiting to hear back from the pharmacy that will be delivering my Enbrel. I should have it by this week. I wanted it to come Thursday but I didn't hear back from them today, so that'll probably push it back a day.

I just hope I can find the strength to pull through this.

Enbrel was approved !

enbrel was approved this morning from insurance !!!!! I'm currently sitting at my rheumy office waiting for them to get back from lunch I picked up a hard copy from my primary doctor because I wanted to drop it off myself so they can't say they didn't get the fax. I'm so happy ! called off work today so I could take care of this ! :) :)

More Enbrel Updates

I called my PC Doctor office today & was told to call back mon/tues because by then they should have an approval hopefully from insurance for Enbrel. So i'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will finally get moving! I received this Enbrel travel kit in the mail the other day, 2 of them actually. I posted a pic. It was free, it's a mini cooler & came with a booklet that teaches you how to self inject and just information and a sharps container and alcohol wipes, this will come in handy as I plan on going to FL for my spring break next month!! So i'm not sure if i'll have to take my Enbrel injections with me or not depending on if I start by then which i'm hoping too. I just need to get a thermometer to make sure it says cool enough on the plane ride. I'm really excited about my vacation, I haven't been out of California is about 3 years so it will be nice to get away and have some fun. My next appt with my rheumy isn't until the end of April which is more then 6 weeks from the last time I saw him ugh but they are booked. Besides that I've been feeling alright, still get sore & although I do have pain meds i've been trying to not take them if I really really don't need too. Anyways off to bed I think, feeling sleepy and I have work in the morning.

Kaylee turns 1

just figured I'd share a few of my favorite photos I took from my nieces birthday today. She turned 1 :) I love her!!! She had so much fun today and was so cute with her cake and presents!! These were taken with my Nikon D40 except the last one of us was on my camera phone :)

more progress

So I got a voice mail today from Erica over at my RA office. She finally got the tb results and my rheumy approved the OK for the prescription for Enbrel FINALLY! but now... what did she say? She has to FAX the prescription over to my PC Doctor who has to approve it THEN send it off to insurance for approval *sigh* at least i'm getting closer and closer I guess. I'm going to call my PC Doctor office next week to check up on things. I never thought it'd be this much work just to get on this medication =/

I've been feeling like complete shit lately. Hours are picking up at work again now that the scheduling issue's are fixed. So i'll be working about 30 hours these next two weeks. The good news is they are longer shifts 7-8 hours from now on so I will get more days off instead of working crap 4-5 hour shifts. Let's see how this will make me feel =( But gotta make money to pay those bills. Ugh.

Tomorrow is my nieces 1 year birthday party so i'm looking forward to that & spending some time with my family, let's hope i can have enough energy to get through the day. I'm so tired, I'm going to sleep now, just got home from laser tag with friends which was fun.

fax machines

so I dealt with Dr offices this morning and now know how unreliable fax machines are. the good news ? I'm able to make another appt with my rheumy the bad news ? still no progress for enbrel. I was so frustrated I was crying earlier from now on ill drop paperwork off at the two offices myself. I'm posting from my Android phone cause I downloaded the Blogger app so I hope this works !

Dear DR Offices

Dear Doctor Offices,

I hate you,

That is all.

>:[

Test Updates & Poetry

I got my tb test taken care of, which was negative. :) & the blood test for hep is also finished. I called my rheumy today to leave a message for him like he said to do once I got those 2 tests completed so that way he could put in for the Enbrel. I just want to start it already! & for creative writing I need to write 2 poems, I have 1 already and it's about my RA. I read somewhere online that someone thought about RA as a dragon, I liked that idea so this poem describes how I feel. I can't decide if I want to make adjustments yet, but for now I guess I'll share it.








The Dragon

He comes and goes
Waiting, waiting to strike each time
Breathing fire that doesn’t burn but freezes
Contained by this creature that controls
I struggle for the strength to overcome
Trapped in pain which leads to fear
Is he gone yet?
My fingers throb, my knees ache, my feet sore
This is where he collided this time
It’s over and I’m left frozen
He left behind signs to remind me he was here
Stiffness, Swelling, Pain, Redness and Warmth
Laying in bed waiting, waiting to move again
Pill after pill, shot after shot
The dragon’s taken off, only to return again